Philadelphia

Somewhat apropos of my last post and the comments on it, I dug up my "You know you're ________ when..." for Philadelphia, which J. and I came up with a year or so ago. This isn't one of those lists that's been e-mailed all over the Internet since 1997; we thought of all of the items independently, although some of them may turn out not to be unique. And I decided that "You know you're from Philadelphia when..." didn't really sum up the spirit of the city, so I gave it the title



You've been in Philadelphia too long when...

• You use a red light as a left turn signal.
• You know the difference between the gayborhood and Queen Village.
• At a sporting event, you consider throwing things at the halftime entertainment a legitimate form of music criticism.
• Even if the halftime entertainment is Santa Claus.
• You know what's in scrapple and you eat it anyway.
• You know what you're getting when you order your cheesesteak "Cheez Whiz wit'."
• You say "youse" without irony.
• You can pronounce Schuylkill, Conshohocken, and Passyunk, although you can't necessarily spell them.
• You think any mayor is doing a good job if he hasn't actually bombed the city.
• You see nothing silly about hundreds of middle-aged blue-collar men wearing sequins and feathers, playing banjos, and dancing in the street to celebrate New Year's Day.
• You think New York is for sissies.