Hollywood minute half-second or so

For some reason, it's news that Jen & Ben, or Bennifer, or Jenjamin, or Loffleck, or Affpez [and why isn't there a Jennifer Lopez Pez dispenser?], have Really and Truly Broken Up. [Yawn.] Excuse me, Jen & Ben breaking up is like Michael Jordan retiring from sports or Cher going on a farewell tour; or, hell, the boy crying wolf. After a few times, nobody believes it, or cares; and when it finally happens, it's not even interesting. (Well, the boy getting eaten by the wolf would be interesting, if you like bloody messes.)