Friday Five

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.

• Finish the Christmas stocking I started making for J. last year



• Make the fruitcake I got the ingredients for two years ago (candied fruit doesn't go bad, does it?)



• Vacuum (hey, it could happen)



• Work on my Web site, and maybe get my blog moxified



• Send my Christmas cards before Christmas

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.



Oh, jeez...I mostly lost contact with them because I wanted to. Next question.



3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.

• I'd say "dance," but I believe that's impossible; me:dance :: shellfish:quantum physics



• Speak Welsh



• And Irish Gaelic



• And that African language with all the clicks



• Anything well enough to get me famous enough to get on the Daily Show (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Jon Stewart)

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).

• Pay off the mortgages on the houses of all my family members



• Donate a building to Yale (which I said I'd do on my application, although it was tongue-in-cheek rather than an out-and-out bribe)



• Upholster a room with cashmere



• Raise Arabian horses



• Get my goddamn thighs liposuctioned (they're disproportionately large, so no matter how thin I am I look like a Stone Age fertility goddess from hip to knee)

5. List five things you do that help you relax.

• Alcohol



• Xanax



• Hot baths



• Orgasms



• Backrubs