Not this normal, though

Okay, I'm not going to be the last person on the Internet who takes this:

I'm an apparently intelligent, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, relatively well adjusted human being!
What are you?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

(Via, among others, Psychobabble, Region Broad, Snidget.)

Hey, I feel normal!

If you ever thought you had no life and wasted too much time playing video games, this guy's got you beat: a man in Manchester, England has been playing Galaxia for two hours a night for twenty-four years. Yes, count 'em, twenty-four. (He just got the highest score ever, 399,290 points, but says he won't be satisfied till he gets a million points.) Somewhat unexpectedly, he's married:

His understanding wife of 24 years, Trish, said she had not considered divorcing him.



"It's not like I didn't know what I was getting into," she said.



"He has always been really interested in video games.



"At least I know where he is and what he's up to. It's our silver wedding next years so I'll wait till then and then we'll see."

"We'll see"? Perhaps not as indicative of not wanting a divorce as it could be. But heck, she gets points for putting up with it at all—perhaps even a million points.

Not a creature was stirring, except in the mouse

Remember the USB optical liquid mouse with a floating duck or fish from ThinkGeek that I mentioned back in August? For a limited time, you can also get one with a floating Santa Claus. (No, ThinkGeek isn't paying me to pimp these; I just think they're cool in a, well, geeky way; and silly things on your desk are always good for a stress-relieving pick-me-up. Back when I had the time and inclination to wear nail polish, I had a rainbow of pastel and metallic colors, on the theory that it's impossible to be really depressed if your nails are lavender, or lime green, or gold-flecked yellow, or iridescent blue. [I should actually try that again. My nails are short, even though I stopped biting them, and polish takes a long time to apply and then to dry, and it seems to wear off so fast; but heck, I've got a week-long holiday coming up, I can spend a few hours watching a totally girly movie and wearing frog-print pajamas and painting my nails turquoise.])

More painkillers that kill you

Oh, don't take my naproxen away! Not only is there news that Aleve may increase the risk of heart attack or stroke, the NIH is suspending a study involving Aleve and Celebrex because, presumably, it's too dangerous to continue. Phoo, phoo, phoo. Naproxen is the only thing that works on my Menstrual Cramps from Hell; I've been taking it since 1996, when it was prescription-only, and damn was I glad when it went over-the-counter. I guess I'm under the "don't take for more than 10 days" advisory, because Cramps from Hell only seize me for three or four days—which is three or four days more than I'd like, but at least I've never had a ten-day period. (Knock on wood.)



Another possible bright spot: the study was conducted on "2,500 patients aged 70 or older and who had a family history of Alzheimer's," who I suspect are already at a much higher risk of stroke and heart attack than I am; no word on the effects of any of the in-the-news drugs on generally-healthy people under 30. And I'm not going to stop taking it until somebody invents morphine that's not addictive or codeine that doesn't knock you out. (Alcohol actually works fairly well—it dulls the senses and relaxes muscles—but I suspect I'm not going to get a prescription for it.)

Holiday memes

No, I couldn't resist these...



Via Cheeky Prof:

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet.

What Crappy Gift Are You?

Via reflections:

You Were Mostly Nice This Year!

Sure, you had your naughty moments... but guess what? Santa was probably sleeping when you were living it up. As far as he's concerned, you've been on your best behavior. So cross your fingers, and you might score good presents.

Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

Boring mid-month pre-holiday update

Well, I've gotten most of my shopping done; I've ordered the things I wanted to online, and now I just have to wait for them to show up. We haven't done cards yet—I did get two nice ones for my parents and grandparents and mailed them today, but the cousins and second cousins and friends of friends aren't done at all. I know we've got to do them, I know we do, but oh, man, is it hard to get motivated for it. Maybe it would help if we had our lights and our little artificial tree up; maybe I'll try to get some of that done tonight. I kind of want to do a popcorn-and-cranberry garland this year, too, so the bird can perch on it and peck at it and play with it and eat it. (Yes, I know, I'm totally bird-whipped. But you try to resist the little fluffball.)



The news is full of "we're at the mall interviewing last-minute shoppers" stories; oh, c'mon, five days before Christmas is so not last-minute. Last-minute is December 22nd at the earliest, and really not till December 23rd or Christmas Eve. And it's not always a bad thing; two years ago I went shopping so late on the 24th that I was able to buy things at the post-Christmas markdown prices. I'll take last-minute stress witha 60% discount versus done-in-time security at full price any day.

Nudge nudge, wink wink, tee-hee

Okay, I know, this means I am very, very, very immature, but still: I ran one of my pet Perl programs to list the abbreviations in a Bible dictionary I'm working on, and as I'm skimming over the "T" section my mind stops and does a full boggle:

TPINTC appeared 1 times

TS appeared 1 times

TT appeared 1 times

TWAT appeared 1 times

Wait a minute, did I just see what I think I saw?

TWAT appeared 1 times

Holy shit, I did. Of course, I've got to look it up in the abbreviation table now:

TPINTC	Trinity Press International New Testament Commentaries
TS	Theological Studies
TT	Theology Today
TWAT	See TDOT

"See TDOT"? You bet I'll see it:

TDOT	Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament, eds. G. J. Botterweck and H. Ringgren, 8 vols. (Grand Rapids, 1978–96), ET of Theologisches Wörterbuch zum Alten Testament (Stuttgart, 1970–)

Ah, the perils of multi-lingual and cross-cultural acronyms..."Theologisches Wörterbuch zum Alten Testament" looks perfectly innocent, doesn't it? And the acronym is probably as unobjectionable in German as TDOT is in English. But TWAT in English...now, that's funny. At least for an American copyeditor on a Friday afternoon at the end of a long week. Yes, I know, I'm five years old.



(I've had enough trouble not snickering at one of our own project names: the Theological Workbook of the Old Testament, or TWOT. The acronym doesn't look bad, but if you say it out loud it sure sounds like "twat." We very carefully refer to it as "Tee-double you-oh-tee" without anyone coming right out and saying "I guess we don't want to say anything that sounds like 'twat' to the Christian publishing clients, do we?")



While I'm at it, I may as well add that I still think it's amusing that the book of Titus is abbreviated "Tit," and Hosea is "Ho" or "Hos," and Judges is sometimes "Jgs," which looks an awful lot like "Jugs." And I love the fact that there's a Biblical town called "Shittim," and everyone who publishes a Bible or a biblical dictionary or concordance or commentary has to print it. And I think it's high time I took my dirty mind home now.